Over the years, I created a number of country-specific posts related to Vitiligo Cover Lotion, international shipping availability, and vitiligo-related information from around the world. To make those older posts easier to browse, I’ve brought them together here in one place.
Open any section below to read more.
Wear what you want. Go where you want.
Vitiligo Cover Lotion helps skin tone look more even,
lasts for days, and stays on through water. 
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Don’t you just hate quotes that are used to placate a problem you are experiencing? They seem to take what is a mountain of an issue and erode it down to a mere bump in the landscape. It doesn’t work that easily when it’s your emotions though, does it?
When I am in a confronted with a situation which is not to my liking, my initial reaction is to feel upset, helpless, or sad. Sometimes, but not often, I waste a lot of time and energy in those emotions. But then something extraordinary happens, somehow I am able to change my perception of the situation. This abrupt change seems to always come from something I had heard someone say or I will get an idea of what I can do to morph the situation into one that I can deal with in a constructive manner.
Hearing the diagnosis that I have vitiligo didn’t bother me. I didn’t even really understand it. But as time passed and the white patches began to invade more space on my skin than I was comfortable with, having vitiligo started to annoy me and I actively searched for a way to cover it up.
At first, I had the hardest time finding a cover-up that didn’t sit on my skin like a mud cake or turn it a bizarre shade of orange that could only be appreciated in 70’s decor. It was at this point that I got an idea to create my own self-tanning lotion and with the help of a truly kind manufacturer and his chemist, Vitiligo Cover Lotion was born.
And that brings me to today…or rather a few months ago when I decided to create Vitiligo-ville. The response this site has received gives me such pleasure and I appreciate all of the words of encouragement sent via comments and emails.
This may sound corny, but thanks for being my lemonade. Man, it makes me mad that that quote is true. ;)
Improving Your Self Image while living with vitiligo
Improving your self-image, like improving any skill, takes time and practice. Developing good self-esteem involves encouraging a positive (but realistic) attitude toward yourself and the world around you and appreciating your worth, while at the same time behaving responsibly towards others. Self-esteem isn’t self-absorption; it’s self-respect.
By working from the inside out (focusing on changing your own way of thinking before changing the circumstances around you), you can build your self-esteem. The goal of this positive thinking is to give yourself a more positive self-concept, while seeing yourself honestly and accepting yourself, and removing the internal barriers that can keep you from doing your best.
Positive Thinking about vitiligo
There are many ways a person can change negative thoughts and self-criticism to more realistic and positive thoughts. Focusing on all of them at once may be overwhelming, but focusing on a few at a time and reminding yourself of these positive approaches regularly can change your self-esteem.
Read the positive thought strategies below and choose several that would help you most. Write them down and remind yourself to pause and change your way of thinking each time you are being critical of yourself. As you become more comfortable with each new way of thinking (for example, learning not to apologize or accept blame for other’s anger) try adding a new positive thought strategy to your list.
Positive Thought Strategies to live with vitiligo
- Avoid exaggerations.
Correct your internal voice when it exaggerates, especially when it exaggerates the negative. Try to avoid thinking in extreme terms (“I always make that mistake” or “I’ll never get that promotion.”) - Nip negative thoughts in the bud.
Sometimes putting a stop on negative thinking is as easy as that. The next time you start giving yourself an internal browbeating, tell yourself to “stop it!” If you saw a person yelling insults at another person, you would probably tell them to stop. Why do you accept that behavior from yourself? - Accentuate the positive.
Instead of focusing on what you think are your negative qualities, accentuate your strengths and assets. Maybe you didn’t ace the test you were studying for, but maybe your hard work and perseverance led to a better grade than you would have had. Maybe you felt nervous and self-conscious when giving a presentation at work, but maybe your boss and coworkers respected you for getting up and trying. - Accept flaws and being human.
Maybe you did get nervous and blow that presentation at work – so what? Talk to your boss about what went wrong, try to address the error in the future, and move on. All people have flaws and make mistakes. Your boss, coworkers, friends, family, postman, congressman, and favorite movie star have all made mistakes. They’ve forgiven themselves; so can you. - Accept imperfections.
Perfection is a high goal to aim for — you don’t need to start there or even end there. Make doing your best your ideal — what more can you realistically do? Focus on what you’ve gained from the process and how you can use it in the future. Avoid focusing on what wasn’t done or ‘should have’ been done differently. Allow yourself to make mistakes and then forgive yourself. Try laughing instead of criticizing. - Don’t bully yourself!
“Should have, could have, would have … ” Try not to constantly second guess yourself, criticize yourself for what you “should” have done better, or expect too much from yourself. Don’t put standards on yourself that you wouldn’t expect from others. It’s great to want to do well, but expecting yourself to be perfect (which is impossible) and then punishing yourself when you fail is a vicious cycle. Using expressions like “I should have” is just a way of punishing yourself after the fact. - Replace criticism with encouragement.
Instead of nagging or focusing on the negative (in yourself and others), replace your criticism with encouragement. Give constructive criticism instead of being critical (“maybe if I tried to do ____ next time, it would be even better” instead of “I didn’t do that right.”) Compliment yourself and those around you on what you have achieved (“well, we may not have done it all, but we did a pretty great job with what we did”.) - Don’t feel guilty about things beyond your control.
You are not to blame every time something goes wrong or someone has a problem. Apologizing for things and accepting blame can be a positive quality, if you are in the wrong and if you learn and move on. But you shouldn’t feel responsible for all problems or assume you are to blame whenever someone is upset. - Don’t feel responsible for everything.
Just as everything is not your fault, not everything is your responsibility. It’s okay to be helpful, but don’t feel the need to be all things (and do all things) for all people. This is taking too much of a burden on yourself AND limiting those around you. Let others be responsible for themselves and their actions — you shouldn’t feel responsible for their happiness. - Do feel responsible for your feelings.
Just as you can’t “make” other people happy, don’t expect others to “make” you feel happy or good about yourself. In the same way, they shouldn’t make you feel guilty or bad about yourself. You create your own feelings and make your own decisions. People and events may have an effect on your emotions, but they can’t dictate them.
- Avoid exaggerations.
- Treat yourself kindly.
People often feel more comfortable treating themselves in ways they wouldn’t consider treating others. Do you criticize yourself with terms like “stupid” “ugly” or “loser”? Would you use those terms to describe a friend? Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated as well as you treat others. Do something nice for yourself sometimes — either in thought (give yourself a compliment) or action (treat yourself to a nice dinner or new book.) - Give yourself a break.
You don’t need to be all things to all people or please everyone. Give yourself permission to decide you’re doing the best you can. Remind yourself when you’re doing things well — don’t wait to hear it from someone else. - Choose the brighter side of things.
You can choose how to interpret comments and events, so try for the more positive interpretations. If someone says, “You look good today,” don’t ask yourself “What was wrong with the way I looked yesterday?” Accept compliments graciously (don’t ask yourself why you haven’t been complemented on something else or why you haven’t complemented you before.) Look at temporary setbacks as opportunities for growth. - Forgive and forget.
Try not to hang on to painful memories and bad feelings – this is a surefire way to encourage negative thoughts and bad moods. Your past can control you if you don’t control it. If you can, forgive past wrongs and move on. (Don’t forget that forgiving yourself is an important part of this process, too!) If you have a hard time forgiving or forgetting, consider talking through your emotions with a good friend or counselor, but try not to dwell. It’s important to work through things, but you can’t let the past determine your future. - Focus on what you CAN do, not what you can’t.
Avoid “can’t” thinking or other negative language. If you say something often enough, you may start to believe it, so keep your statements positive, not negative. Don’t be afraid to seek help in accomplishing things, but remind yourself that you don’t need approval from others to recognize your accomplishments. Focus on what you’re able to do. Remind yourself of all your capabilities and positive qualities.
Using just one or two of the above strategies on a regular basis can greatly increase your positive self-image and self-esteem. Making these internal changes will increase your confidence in yourself and your willingness and ability to make external changes and improve your life.
An important health factor that influences more than your appearance.
Scientists are learning more and more every day about the link between your mind and your health. Stress, depression, and anger have all been shown to pave the way to illness and disease. On the other hand, if you feel good about yourself, have a positive outlook, and maintain an active involvement in life, you’re more likely to be happy — and healthy.
The Importance of Self-Esteem Many things — genetics, environment, the food you eat, illness, sleep, even the seasons — influence your emotional state. But at the heart of it is how you regard yourself. If you have a healthy level of self-esteem, you not only cope with life’s challenges better than people with low self-esteem, but you’re probably more content, confident, and successful. You’re probably also healthier. Studies show that positive self-esteem actually helps inoculate people against depression and anxiety, conditions that may pose increased risk of everything from colds to osteoporosis to heart disease.
Most people’s sense of worth is rooted in their childhood — in the early approval or disapproval of parents, teachers, and friends. But as we get older, most of us judge ourselves by our sense of how effectively we’re managing in the world, especially in the areas of love and work. Our ability to love and be loved can give our lives a sense of purpose and deep fulfillment. We can also find satisfaction and pride in work-related accomplishments, and the people we meet and work with can reinforce our sense of self and our role in life.
Once midlife comes along, however, our self-esteem can take a turn in response to changes in our lives. Marital relationships may change, children may leave home, and we may begin to scale back on work as we approach retirement. Of course, the view in the mirror may not be what it used to be, either.
Bolstering Your Self-Worth
If you find your self-esteem eroding a bit, there are plenty of ways to build it back up again.
- Reframe your identity. Redefine what you base your sense of self-worth on. Instead of “sales manager,” “stock market analyst,” or “mom,” start thinking of yourself as “community organizer,” “literacy volunteer,” “great cook,” “gifted gardener,” and more.
- Talk back to your inner critic. Become conscious of how hard you’re being on yourself, and counter a negative attitude with some positive self-talk.
- Let yourself off the hook. As the saying goes, it’s better to try something and fail than to be successful at not trying anything. Focus on goals that are linked to activities you’re really interested in so you’ll enjoy a sense of purpose and derive pleasure from the pursuit whether or not you achieve your goal in full.
- Take time for yourself. Read the paper, keep a journal, go for a swim. This is especially important for women, who are often so busy nurturing others that they neglect their own needs and interests.
We hear a lot about the positive results affirmations can bring, but I’ve always found it tricky to keep doing them. It seems after a few days I forget to use the affirmation, even if it was something really worthwhile.
When using affirmations it’s very important to state them in the positive (what you do want instead of what you don’t) and also useful to, as far as possible, state the affirmation as if you are ready have it, or are at least expecting it, rather that stating it as a hope or wish. For example:
“I don’t want to feel fearful when flying on a plane” will get the mind tuning into fear, so this is not a good affirmation to use.
“I want to feel calm when flying on a plane” This is better but by wanting it, you presuppose that you do not yet have it.
“I can be calm when flying on a plane.” This give us positive possibility, but it is missing certainty.
“I am calm when flying on a plane” This is the best option, but only if you believe it. There is no point in using an affirmation if, in the back of your mind you feel it is a lie.
“I will be calm when flying on a plane” This is also a good option as you are telling yourself what positive experience you can expect in the future and it’s also ok if you are not yet totally calm. The affirmation can still be true even if in the moment of now you still feel a little fearful.
* Remember, affirmations work for any emotion you may feel so if you’re not afraid of flying, just plug in some other emotion. For example, “I feel good about myself” or “I enjoy interacting with other people”.
Now here is a great way to always use your affirmations. Create a short hand code for it, and use it as your password. For example, your login password for your email. That way you affirm it to yourself every time you check your emails! By using a code you also create safer passwords.
So “I will be calm when flying on a plane” becomes “1wbcwf0ap” The 1 being a substitute for I and the 0 being a substitute for o. Or you could use “Bc1m0np1ns” which could stand for “Be calm on planes.”
Give it a go and see how you get on.
Dear Nathalie,
I would be glad to submit something for your book. Although I have never felt the extreme of suicidal over this condition, I have had very deep emotional feelings and still do about this. The other day, I was doing a teacher observation and noticed that one of the students in the class I was observing has vitiligo. I almost broke down for that child. I wished so much I could take it away for him. I really can’t tell you that I have found a triumphant path to a positive self-image. My youngest daughter said to me recently – “Mom, just own it!” I told her, “I just haven’t been able to do that yet.” But, I am working on it. And, I am also learning energy work and intend to see if I can use it to help with this problem. I would like to stay in touch with you as you seem connected to a community of people with this situation. I would love to know if anyone has had success in improving or healing vitiligo through energy work.
Definition of a funk: lack of motivation and low energy
Are you in a funk? Feeling a bit grumpy and disengaged from life in general? Persistent bad moods can absolutely lead to health problems. Do yourself a favor and seek out some healthy outlets for releasing depressive thoughts and squelching lack-luster activities.
8 Healthy ideas to shake yourself out of a funk
1. Go for a walk – I’m not talking about a marathon here. If you can only manage a walk around the block, you’ll be better for it. Exercise releases endorphins which will naturally make you feel happier. Be sure to take in some deep breaths; it will get the oxygen flowing to your brain.
2. Do a Random Act of Kindness – If you focus less on your issues and take time to make someone else’s day special, you will feel great afterwards.
3. Clear out the clutter – One of the quickest ways to generate mental energy is by throwing out useless things in your home and/ or organizing closets and drawers. This may sound like daunting work, but it is totally energizing once you see the finished product.
4. Try a new recipe – We all get in the habit of eating and preparing the same foods again and again. Why not try a new recipe? Get on the internet and find something cool to make. Maybe you won’t like it, but so what! Adopt an adventuresome spirit to invite a little fun in your day.
5. Do something out of your comfort zone – Don’t you love the idea of getting up in front of a group of people and singing? No? Does it intimidate you a little? Good. Run to the nearest karaoke club and sing a song…it’ll really get your adrenaline pumping.
6. Walk barefoot in the grass – Spending time with nature is great way to feel better. Put on your hiking boots and get lost for a couple hours near a babbling brook. Or, do some gardening. The sense of accomplishment will be immensely satisfying.
7. Watch a funny movie – Forgo the tear-jerkers and dramas at the theater this time around. You need a good belly-laugh to break that funk. You can do this from home or venture out alone to the movie– hey, this may cover the “do something out of your comfort zone” suggestion, too.
8. Pamper yourself – Do whatever it is that brings you the most joy. It might be indulging in a bubble bath, reading a good novel, or going out to get your hair styled…don’t you just love having your hair washed at the salon?
You deserve to feel great, so pick one of these suggestions and shake yourself out of this funk.
Well it’s a new year, and atypical as it may seem, I did not come up with any new years resolutions. Sure, the feeling of renewal is in the air…a chance to begin anew minus all of the imperfections we feel we have. But the truth is even when I have made resolutions, more often than not, I didn’t keep them through the first half of the year. And as if still having my undesired habits wasn’t bad enough for my self-image, I also felt like a failure because I didn’t keep those resolutions. It was a lose, lose situation.
Instead, I am just going to take it one day at a time and one pesky habit at a time. Rather than declaring that from today on I will be organized, I’m just going to take small steps: Write appointments in my calendar, keep a to-do list in clear site, and develop a few more daily habits that make me feel I’ve accomplished even a little something that day. Most importantly, if I forget something, I won’t beat myself up over it…I will simply say, I’ll do better tomorrow.
Did you make any resolutions for this year?
The NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) SMART goal setting technique can provide a great starting place for your new year’s resolutions. Once you have run it through this system, you should have all the information you need to get you exactly what you want!
As a taster, try cross referencing your goal against the SMART criteria here:
S– Simple and specific. Your goal should be stated as simply as possible. If you write out the details of your goal you will be more likely to remember it and stick to it. A bit like when you do your supermarket shopping, you are more likely to remember what you are supposed to be getting and stick to your list if you have written it down- even if you forget to take the list with you. You should also make your goal as simple to achieve as possible as the unconscious mind will always follow the path of least effort. If faced with a choice of “do this it’s really complicated and difficult” or “do nothing” you can guess what your subconscious will support you in doing. In the same way, it will be easier for your mind to stick to specific elements of your goal that you need to bring to fruition rather than a random set of ideas that you might achieve maybe, one day.
M– Meaningful and measurable. The goals or resolutions you set for yourself should be meaningful to you, not something that someone else wants you to achieve or something you think you should achieve but something that you really want. There should also be a way to measure the difference between where you are currently and where you will be/what will be different once you have achieved your goal.
A– Achievable and act as if. Your goal must be achievable. For example, if you goal is to lose 4 stone, question whether this is something that is possible for you to achieve. On the face of it, it probably reads as if that is achievable, but for someone who wants to do so whilst eating junk food and not doing any exercise, then it probably is not achievable. Acting as if is all about getting yourself into the positive state you would be feeling if you had already achieved your goal. Doing this helps you to feel more motivated to continue with your goal as well as sending out a clear signal to the universe to say that you are ready to live your life in the way you will once your goal is achieved.
R– Realistic and ecological. If your goal is unrealistic you will struggle to make it a success. It may be that there are just certain elements of you goal that you need to adjust in order to make it a success. For example, you may need to adjust the time period in which you wish to achieve your goal to make it more realistic. When your goal is also ecological, it will be supported by your environment and wider system. A good way to assess whether something is ecological is to ask the following 3 questions. You should get a yes answer to all 3 questions in order for it to be ecological.
* Is it good for me?
* Is it good for others?
* Is it good for the greater good?
T– Timed and toward. You should always set a date by which you want to have achieved your goal. It is important that your date is realistic and that you write it as a set date in the future instead of “in one year’s time” which in one year’s time will still be a year away. Instead you would write “by January 2010. You should always state your goal or resolution as something that you want to move toward instead of something you want to move away from. That means state it in the positive.
Remember that a goal is different to an emotional state. So if your goal is to feel happy, know that you can do this already you just need to learn the techniques to know how. The People Building podcast is filled with NLP hints and tips that can help you to achieve a better state on a consistent basis. You can get it for free, here: https://peoplebuilding.mypodcast.com/rss.xml
Hypnosis can be a great way to keep your mind focused on your goal, and the more specific to your goal that the hypnosis session is, the more it will appeal to your own unconscious mind. People Building can write, and record a personal hypnosis audio for you or you might find the hypnosis audio that suits your goal here: https://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/hypnosis-scripts.htm
Assess how your goal is impacting on each area of your life by completing a wheel of life or by completing our Quality of Life questionnaire. We will provide helpful hints and tips to your questionnaire responses as well as offering competitive rates on life coaching to help you stay on track with your new year’s resolutions.
With all of these resources available from People Building, you’re bound to succeed.
By Gemma Bailey
What do you want to be when you grow up? Ask this question to an eight year old and you will receive an answer full of wonder and inspiration. You will hear unbelievable things. Children are full of wonder and hope.
In their beautiful little minds, failure is not is not even a remote possibility. They don’t know how it will happen, but they believe that it will. They have faith that they can do anything. Children have excellent vision.
Our vision becomes clouded and obscured over time. Someone tells us something negative about who we are, and our vision of how we see our “self” gets blurry. People around us tell us we cannot have, do or be whatever we want, because those wonderful things only happen to select people, and so how we view the possibility of achieving our dreams is now out of focus. We are told life is hard; people cannot be trusted, either through the fearful words of others or our own experience. We are told negative things about people of different races, genders, sexual preferences and political or religious views. Now our vision of how we see the world and everyone in it is distorted.
Things happen in life and we develop a sort of spiritual myopia. We walk around with a distorted view of ourselves, the world and others. But vision can be corrected. The great thing about vision is that the thing we are viewing has not changed; only our perception and perspective have. Those of us who wear glasses know this. When I look at a book or an object too far away, my vision is blurry. I cannot make out the words, and sometimes I view words incorrectly. I can make a mistake if I base a decision on the misread words or the incorrect interpretation of the object. When I put on my glasses, however, everything comes into focus. Things are now seen clearly.
There is a story in the Bible of a man who was healed from being blind all his life. When he was first asked what he saw, he said “I see men as trees, walking”. Now the men had not changed at all, they were men, however, his perception of them was off- clearly the men were not trees. Sometimes, the vision in our own lives is just like that.
We incorporate one fearful piece of advice or have a bad experience and start to view everything we see and experience from that point on through that lens. Eric
Butterworth, spiritual teacher and author, states “Our job is not to set things right but to see them right.” And so, in seeing things correctly we start to improve our vision.
How do you view the world? Is it a beautiful place full of amazing things and people? Or is it an awful place we must endure until we are fortunate enough to finally leave? On what things are you focusing?
Are you concentrating and complaining about things and people that are not working in your life or are you concentrating on what is good? Are you looking at what you don’t have, or what the things for which you are grateful?
What’s right with you, the world and life, is just as true and infinitely more powerful that what is wrong. What we believe impacts what we see. We are created by a Power much bigger than us (call it The Creator, God, the Universe or whatever you choose – we won’t argue semantics or religion here) that created us out of love, and wishes good things for us. Just embracing and affirming that one belief can change your entire life. It is the difference between seeing circumstances as horrible events that happen to us, or viewing them as temporary assignments to help us grow. It can change our view of ourselves and our ability to succeed.
Practically, we can do a few things to improve our vision immediately.
Change the way you view yourself.
Make a list of 100 great things about YOU. What do you do well? What do you like about yourself? Of what things or accomplishments are you most proud? Use this list to clear up your vision. Pick a few a day, write them down and tape them up somewhere in a place that you will see them daily. Start to see yourself as successful, worthy and wonderful.
Change the way you view others.
When you are frustrated with someone, no matter what they’ve done, they still have some good qualities. Make a list of great things about others, whether it’s a race of people you’ve been taught to dislike or fear, or a person at work who drives you crazy. Is your boss really creative? Is your sister a great cook? Is a co-worker a great problem solver? You will develop a new appreciation for people that you may not have had before.
Change the way you view life.
Make a gratitude list. Create a list, daily, of everything in your life for which you are thankful. Are you healthy? Do you have really great friends who support you? Maybe it is a garden that provides you with beautiful fresh flowers to look at. No matter what is going on, we always have something to celebrate.
Read inspirational books to help. Sometimes we all need a shift in perspective.
Develop a broader vision for your life.
What DO you want to be when you grow up? Decide to create your life based upon your own vision, not the vision, fears and expectations of others. Explore your dreams, pick one at a time and pursue it with abandon. If you’re having difficulty with this, seek out a coach or consultant to for support and accountability to get it done.
We live in a world full of infinite possibility-we only have to tap into it. You are full of unlimited potential, and the minute you acknowledge and affirm this truth, possibilities will unfold miraculously before you. Once you change our vision, your life will become immediately more exciting, meaningful and joyful. Good begins to find you everywhere you go!
Staci Shelton is a high energy, high impact facilitator and human development expert. She comes with over 10 years experience in training, facilitation, human performance & development, coaching, self -help and self-improvement for individuals and organizations. She will encourage, motivate and inspire you while you work together to reach your goals and dreams!
Years ago I stopped making new year’s resolutions. Not because they are too hard to keep, I just figured that if something in my life needed to change, it could be done at anytime during the year. But this year I am making an amendment.
A couple of days ago I saw a post by Melinda Gates on Instagram and it gave me a great idea. She said, “Instead of setting a New Year’s resolution, I like to adopt a word of the year—one that encapsulates my wishes for the next 12 months.”
I love this idea, and I especially love the word she chose for 2018: Grace.
Grace: noun
1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action
2. a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment
3. favor or goodwill.
By nature, I am not the most patient person in the world, so when I read Melinda’s idea, and thought about the word grace, I knew immediately that this was an idea to which I could fully commit. Whenever I react abruptly, I feel bad about how I may have affected the person I spoke to, and in turn I feel bad about myself because I didn’t act in a manner that made me proud.
It’s not going to be easy, I understand that. But, I have to tell you that over the past few days I’ve been mulling over the word and it gives me a sense of empowerment. I now have a go-to emotion to kick in when I am feeling irritated, and the bonus is that when I call the word ‘grace’ into action, my response to the situation will be one that makes me feel content and proud.
For me it just so happens that I found this idea at the beginning of the new year, but remember, this is something that you can start doing at any time
Five years ago, this month, I received an email from someone with vitiligo who was so tired of living with the emotional effects of vitiligo- feeling isolated, embarrassed, helpless- that she was contemplating suicide. I’m not trained or certified to help people with emotional issues, so all I could offer her was a few words to let her know that she wasn’t alone.
Whenever we face a crisis, of some sort, it is very easy to feel alone in the world. I began to wonder how many of the other 3% of the world’s population might be experiencing these same feelings. It was then that I decided to create this site.
My goal was to create a safe harbor in the world where anyone living with vitiligo – themselves, a family member, or friend- could go to exchange ideas for treatments, share stories, and most of all, to just be there for each other emotionally.
In the last 5 years we have gone from 120 to over 10,000 new visitors per month. More importantly, the exchanges between people in the comment sections have been a great source of information, inspiration, and support, to people all over the world.
Thank you for being a part of our beautiful community!
I enjoy reading inspirational blogs and sometimes a story really touches me, either because I gain a new perspective or because it reminds me to refocus on beliefs I already hold.
This morning I received an update from a great blog called Evolving Times. The sentiment is great for everyday use, but it is especially useful during this holiday season.
My Solstice Lesson
One thing I’ve learned is that you never know where the lesson will come from. My daughter and I went to a gathering last night for a Solstice ritual and to celebrate the birthday of a friend. It was a lovely little gathering with a beautiful, simple ritual followed by a delicious potluck.
The ritual was short and sweet with no immediately apparent insights or awakenings. But whether or not there was an immediate shift in awareness, I’ve discovered that the seeds are planted when you participate in ritual and you never know when they will blossom!
But the evening was not without a more immediate lesson. And it was all about the birthday cake. Yes, the birthday cake.
This morning I woke up thinking about last night’s cake. Now it’s not as if I usually wake up in the mornings thinking about cake. And, really, I wasn’t thinking about the cake, per se. No, seriously! I was thinking about my interaction with my daughter, Ella, regarding the cake.
First let me describe the cake. It was dark chocolate cake, moist and full of rich chocolatey flavor with a layer of raspberry preserves and frosted with a chocolate ganache. Definitely yummy!
But when I saw the size of the pieces my friend Tim was cutting – can you say Rambo Sized? – I asked for him to cut a special smaller piece and then cut that piece into a small piece for Ella and a not-quite-so-small piece for me.
There were several reasons I wanted Ella to have a small slice: It was late, almost 8:30 by the time we had cake – can you say “Sugar High?” and she’s also a little sensitive to wheat and dairy. And this cake was loaded with both.
So Tim handed down our small little slivers of cake and we were happy. Well, Ella was happy. When I received my little sliver, I was a bit disappointed. Apparently I had not clearly communicated my request to Tim. I wanted Ella to have a tiny slice and I wanted to have a medium sized slice. But we both got tiny slices.
I could feel myself doing one of those cartoon double takes… looking at my little slice, looking at Neil’s big slice, looking at my little slice, looking at Chris’s big slice, looking at… well you get the idea.
I was so focused on the quantity of cake I had – or didn’t have – that I hardly even noticed how good it was. And when I wasn’t lamenting the size of my slice I was engaged in conversation, further distracting me from the full pleasure that the cake could have provided.
After I finished my piece, which didn’t take long since it was so tiny, I continued talking while still hearing a little voice inside of me saying that I had not gotten enough cake. (Notice that the voice was not telling me that I had not EATEN enough cake but that I had not RECEIEVED enough cake. Big difference!)
I found myself watching Tim as he continued cutting the cake, wondering if there was going to be any left for me to have a second small slice. It was going to be a close call. But before he reached the end, Jaci sat down across from me and, seeing the size of the slice on her plate asked for a much smaller one. So I jumped in and said that she could just give me what she didn’t want of hers.
Perfect! In fact, more than perfect: She gave me more than I wanted!
Meanwhile, as all of this internal drama was playing out, Ella was totally immersed in a full body experience of enjoying the cake. She was carefully deconstructing it as she ate: first scraping off the frosting and savoring that, then cutting off small pieces of the cake, lighting up with surprise and joy when she got a taste of the raspberry filling which she couldn’t see because it blended in with the color of the cake.
She was just finishing her slice when I received the “bonus” slice from Jaci. And of course, she wanted a bit more also. I let her have one more bite but turned down her request for a second “last last last last bite” at which point she shifted her attention to licking the plate clean – literally!
So here I was chowing down on a second piece of cake, focused more on the quantity than the quality, missing out on the fullness of the experience while Ella was totally immersed in the experience. For her, nothing else existed outside of her relationship to that tiny slice of cake. She was a study in the Power of Now.
And what a beautiful lesson!
How often do I distract myself from the present moment because I am focused on what I don’t have? How often do I miss out on the fullness of an experience because I am comparing what I do have to what someone else has? How often does my mind lead me into the what ifs of the future or the what could have beens of the past leaving no space for the what is of the present?
Far too often.
So, no matter what else blossoms from last night’s ritual, if I can take this reminder of presence and full participation with me as we move back into the light, I will be very happy!
Epilogue:
About halfway through my “bonus” piece of cake – around the time that I noticed Ella licking her plate! – I broke out of the trance I was in and realized I did not need to eat it all. So I took one more bite, with a much higher level of presence, and then put down my fork.
Soon after that, Jane sat down next to me interested in a small piece of cake. I offered her the rest of the cake I had been eating which she said was exactly how much she wanted!
2010 may be the year that scientists find a cure for vitiligo, or they might not. You don’t have control over their work, but you do have full control over how you live with vitiligo. Will you let it beat you down for another year? Are you going to miss out on social functions because you’re embarrassed to show your skin?
I’m not a big believer in making new years resolutions, but Now is a good time to find a different way of defining what role vitiligo will play in your life. In your heart you know that there is more to you than the white patches on your skin. The people in your life, who love and care about you, probably tell you this often. But no matter what they say, or what you know you have to offer, your head and ego tell you otherwise.
While the scientists do their work, let’s work on what we can…the emotional aspect of vitiligo. We may not be able to dramatically change how we look, but we do have the power to change our self-perception.
I will continue to update the site with pertinent news about vitiligo treatments, but I am going to focus mainly on writing posts that will offer methods and tools you can use to help change your outlook on life.
If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it. Herodotus
Our conversations on here are usually pretty serious…and that’s great because it’s a site to help each other, but for a little fun, let’s step out of our vitiligo-world and talk about something different. I would like to know what you did for halloween. Did you stay home and pass out candy? Did you dress up and go out with friends? Or perhaps you went out trick-or-treating…give me the scoop. If you did dress up, tell me what you wore. i’m always looking for cool ideas for next year.
I had a really nice time since halloween fell on a friday this year. Usually, I stay home and wait around with a huge bowl full of tiny, delicious candy bars, for the neighborhood children to come by and grab a handful…it never happens. Maybe one or two come by, but for the most part, at the end of the evening I am left with an empty bowl, a chocolate buzz, and i feel 10 pounds heavier. And even if I am invited to go out with friends, I stay home because I feel that it’s my duty to be home for the potential trick-or-treaters.
Thank goodness halloween fell on a friday. This year I didn’t buy any candy (I did miss the chocolate buzz though) and I went to a few different parties to which i’d been invited. I can say without reservation that an evening among friends is more enjoyable than an evening with a bowl full of candy. I only wish they (whomever is in charge of holiday date choosing) would change halloween to the last friday of the month instead of the 31st of october. After next year, there will be a 5 year wait until the next guilt-free halloween night and I so loved dressing up.
A couple of months ago, you told me that this site was the first thing you check when you get into work, and I want to say, “thank you!” Thank you for visiting each day, sharing your thoughts with others through our comment area, and for always bringing a ray of sunshine to our lives with your kind and uplifting words.You rock!
Enjoy the morning, Mary from Canada!
Ready to wear what you want with less worry?
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