It was someday in Feb 2005, I woke up with the right side of my lip white, I gradually developed some white patches on my forehead, neck, arm, and neck all to my right side; I had no idea what was going on, but was not too worried. I thought that it was just a severe reaction on my skin from what I ate or used. I met a Doctor who told me its fungal growth and prescribed ‘Ketoconazole’ which I used for weeks with no improvement, few more weeks went by, and still no improvement. Now I was starting to get concerned, got referred to a bigger hospital to see a Dermatologist where I it was diagnosed, I was sent for series of medical Test, Kenalog injection was prescribed which I took and it affected all my joints badly as well as my menstruation that month. This got me more worried and scared, I asked questions, then I had started taking Folic Acid and B12 and felt it was the reaction, till it was made clear to me.
I went on my next appointment to the hospital where ‘Kenalog’ injection was prescribed once more after sharing my pathetic experience with it. I left the hospital that day with the conclusion that they do not have solution to my problems, I never went back. The fear of the adverse affect of Kenalog would not let me go back as I realized even with depression and trauma I was going through, I still valued my life with Vitiligo. The experience informed me more about Vitiligo and dangers of some drugs especially Steroids, I searched further for information on Vitiligo which help me decide on which medication to try. I tried other therapies before finally settling for a very healthy diet (full of vegetables), Nutritional supplements – Vit. B12, C, B5, Folic Acid, Pantothenic Acid, and other herbs (Milk Thistle, St. Johns Wort), I have been on this consistently and it has really helped me. Most challenging part in managing Vitiligo is repigmenting and depigmenting at same time.
As all this was happening I had left my job at the time because I couldn’t cope, out of necessity, I managed to land a job in sales and moved on a little bit. Of course, the problem was that the job put me in contact with more people. Being in sales is hard enough when you look “normal.” However, it is much more difficult with Vitiligo on your face. I always felt that people were looking at my skin instead of listening to what I was saying. I often felt like I had to find a way to explain what happened to me. I wanted everyone to know that I was not born like this and that I used to be normal. I did not last on the job as I couldn’t just perform, the threats started coming from the job and I depigmented more due to the stress.
I became scared of life, my future and my dreams! I hated being felt pity for. I got to understand that the responsibility of the mind in me is mine that making up my mind is entirely mine, that whatever I choose to do is my responsibility. I realized it’s a thing of the MIND. If you can work on your mind, you can have control over what gets you down or affects you. The purpose of the mind is to think, which it cannot do when overwrought. Peace of mind is of practical importance, for it releases that quality of mind-power that produces constructive results.
I had to tell my self the truth, I needed peace, needed to think again constructively, Vitiligo is here and I just have to live with it positively while managing and fighting. What people thought or say was not a problem anymore because what anybody says is their own opinion and never 100% accepted by all.
I found Positive Attitude!
I found out that the power to fulfill my destiny is within me!
I am conquering with Positive Attitude!!!